Career Goals

Why is it that the only time I ever feel like blogging is when I am totally lost?  Ah, yes... That would be because I've given up journaling (not intentionally), don't have a shrink, and apparently have a compulsion that makes it impossible for me to ask open-ended questions or allow uncertainty in my life...

I need to write my "career goals" statement for graduate school.  A couple of weeks ago, I "knew" what I wanted to do with my life, but now that the pressure is on to express it, I am at a total roadblock.

Today, I was searching for photos on the Internet, when it occurred to me that the only career goal that I am passionate about is: Underwater Photographer, which I finally synthesized at that moment (9:57 am, Wednesday, January 19, 2011).  Although I have always been interested in marine biology and talked often about moving to a coast and working with sea turtles, I've never really been able to pinpoint exactly what makes me keep returning to this inconvenient career choice.  I realized this morning that it is all of those amazing underwater photos of tropical fish, The Great Barrier Reef, and sea turtles that prevent me from moving on with my mid-western life and settling on a practical (ie. less expensive) career.  It's not that I'm not willing to dedicate the time to my passion, but rather that during my formative years, such a career was not an option, so I have been trained in just about every other thing available over the past 29 years.

I am applying to Northern Illinois University this month in DeKalb, IL (ie. Farmtown, USA).  While they seem to have some pretty interesting biology programs, I'm pretty sure they don't teach underwater photography.  Additionally, I no longer possess the math skills necessary to be a biology major.  While I love the idea of working for non-profits and fighting for human rights for the rest of my career, the Masters of Public Administration degree that I'm seeking is looking a bit less appealing on this winter day than swimming with sea turtles in The Tropics.

If you have any ideas on how I can possibly align my dreams with my career goals and my reality (completely broke and living in the Mid-West), I'm open to suggestions...